
I wanna talk about my favourite franchise:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Why? Because they are cool.
It's not just because they're awesome. It's not just the amazing catchphrases, it's the character development, the personality behind 4 turtles that all looked exactly the same (until Michael Bay got ahold of them).
The idea was genius. The complex name reinventing the epic "people won't remember" ideology. Named after Renaissance artists that were also talented geniuses (and gay and bisexual but somehow that escaped the sensors radars). I was there when UK took away the "ninja" and made it "hero" (ninjas can't be heroes?)... Too late- they are and always will be ninja. As if that wasn't enough they took away michaelangelo's nunchucks. Kids already know he used this. It came with the toy - Sensor morons!
For die hard fans: the original turtles all had red bands. Then came a stroke of Disney genius by the team at Murakami-Wolf-Swenson (their company is just missing a Donald Draper and Roger Sterling at the end of the title) television show, running in line with the off-green colour figurines sold in stores. Where I lived in Witbank, you couldn't get the turtle van. It was rarer than a lump of gold.
I was obsessed with this franchise and in some ways I still am. The new movie wasn't spectacular, but it proves that the Turtles have a staying power that outways He-Man. That's right, I said it. He-Man did a reboot in 2000 and something to no ones interest. And it wasn't a bad reboot. All characters were redrawn modern like, skeletor wasn't his old silly blue self but a bad guy with weight. Maybe He-Man couldn't cut it in this world because a buff, tanned blonde guy is actually common these days (and perhaps not so manly).
The turtles aren't about power. They are about skill and brains- that's what Turtle Power means. And I hate to piss off die hard original Turtle fans but Jon Liebesmen, producers who should call their company Bay-Fuller-Bryce-Form-Mednick-Walker (see what I did there 😉 ) actually DID A GOOD JOB!
The turtles had more than just different colour skin, their appearance gave away their individualality. I always used to think "why is Leonardo the leader when Donatello is smarter?" And the truth is that Donnie was a nerd... But he looked like a buff nerd that could kick ass (contrary much)- but in the new movie it made sense; his manner and appearance suited his personality. He wasn't leader material. For some reason the conflict is always between Raph and Leo. I get it, the alpha turtle thing, but maybe I'm just used to the Chandler Bing version of Raphael from the 80s cartoon.
Next was April O'neill.
Sorry Megan, you would have been ideal for this role seven years ago, but they should have gone with a fresh young face. Otherwise I would say the character of April in the movie was how it should have always been; she is bound and fated with the Turtles. I loved it.
Also - Will Arnett. I'm a huge fan and was psyched to hear he's Vern Fenwick. I laughed at his moments but found the April love obsession a little out of character for Vern. He could be funnier, but there's always the sequel.
Shredder was maybe a little OTT at the finale, but it's the Shredder. They had to upgrade him to take on four giant mutants. I enjoyed the fact that he was just a ruthless killer, not a plotting mastermind that seems like a dipshit throughout the cartoons and original films.
Let's talk Splinter; he's had all kinds of makeovers. He looked like a weasel in the original films, a dog in the original cartoon, and now a kind of rat guinea pig thing. But his seriousness can be commended. He is Yoda. That's it.
Ending off I can't wait to see this franchise grow. I have to see Krang made in hardcore 3D. Bebop and Rocksteady are rumored to be back in the mix. Baxter Stockman (black or white it don't matter) might make an appearance. Turtles has a franchise following that has the potential to be as big as Batman (it can happen 😬) and I don't doubt one day my kids are going to be running around outside screaming "COWABUNGA!"
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